Some advice for hard times abroad:

I have done, what I'm sure most AFS students do. I went through all the orientations, read all the booklets, and completely ignored the advice they gave me. I never thought I'd be the one who was having problems with their host family, but I am. I thought I was strong enough to get past culture shock and homesickness without a tear, but I wasn't. These things hit me, they hit me hard, and I was completely blind to their source. I thought everything was the problem, but myself. I pointed fingers at my host family, at my town, at my school, at AFS, but not until today did I realize that all of those people, they're all just trying to help.

 I'm my own problem. I am holding myself back. I am living in comparison heaven. "They don't get along like my family at home does." "The style here is so much worse." "The classes are so much easier" "I'm embarrassed by my family." ect. It was never ending. That's when I realized, AFS knows what they're talking about when they make their motto, "It's not bad, it's just different." If I wanted same old Delaware, I should've stayed in Delaware. I laugh when I look at these things now because even though it is so different here, it is so the same as well. My family doesn't always get a long perfectly either, but we still love each other more than anything. The style anywhere depends on the person! I could wear a trash bag and rain boots to school and that would be my style, but I prefer jeans. The classes are easier?? How is that bad? Thank god Ms. Miller put me though math classes when I thought my brain was actually going to explode, because she set my up for success here. And who isn't a little embarrassed by their family? I know my family can be so embarrassing back home sometimes, but that doesn't mean I love them any less!

Basically what I'm trying to say is that nothing in life will ever be perfect, but it's how we deal with those imperfections, how we learn to accept them, live with them, and even love them, that makes us who we are. I knew I was taking a risk by being an exchange student, I knew there were going to be ups and downs, but I never thought they would be so dramatic, and so close together. Some days I feel like I might be going into depression, all I want to do is shut myself in my room, curl up with my grandmother's blanket and listen to John Mayer, and other days I'm bouncing off the walls, so excited to go out, speak spanish, and make new friends.

So to all current AFS students, or future AFS students, please keep your head up. I know that during the hard times, all people can say to you is, "It will get better." But by sitting in your room, skyping with old friends, and avoiding all contact with spanish people, it will not get better. (I say this from experience) You need to put in the effort to get something in return. Talk to people. But don't talk to people back home. Talk to your AFS liaison, they know exactly how you are feeling and they give the best advice. Talk to fellow AFSers. They are most likely feeling the same thing and together, as long as you stay positive, you can help each other. And talk to your family. If they don't know you're unhappy, they will never change. They are volunteers. They are not being paid for this. They did this because they want you to be happy, they want you to experience a new culture, to have the time of your life, and to feel like you have people who love you while you do it.

It takes time. It takes time to build trust, to form relationships, to get used to a new language and a new culture. It takes a lot of time. But that's why you are there for 9 months, not 9 weeks. I know that in between time sucks. I made it so much harder on myself, instead of just enjoying my time here. As long as you try, nothing can go wrong. Either you adjust and you're happy, or you figure out the problem and you fix it. I know this quote is so overused but seriously, "Happiness is a journey, not a destination." I love being happy. And I seriously missed being happy and not forcing a smile or laughing at something I didn't understand. Being honest with yourself is the first step.

If anyone is reading this and wants help or advice on anything PLEASE email me. mobrien1300@gmail.com  I'll be happy to help.

Keep smiling!