Begin Again

The truth is I’ve been wanting to write this blog post for awhile now, but I don’t know where to start, or what to say, or how to possibly explain all of the emotions I’ve had in the matter of two weeks. I guess I will never be able to explain to anyone the things I have felt, or the reasons I acted the way I did, because even I don’t know. But I’m writing this blog to keep everyone back at home updated, and to future exchange students. So for the folks back home, I’m great now, don’t worry about me, and for the future, courageous exchange students, this probably won’t happen to you. I don’t want you to get discouraged, but I want you to know the possibilities, all the different angles that your exchange could take, and I want you to embrace every single one. They all make up the great experience you’re about to take.

So let me start from the end of one experience, and tell you about the beginning of a new one.

Friday, October 19^th , I got on a bus with my AFS liaison and two afsers in Oviedo to go to the AFS orientation camp in Ponferrada. Those two days with my afsers were some of my favorite times in Spain. I love them all so much and they will never know how much they helped me. Just simply making me laugh when all I wanted to do was cry or spontaneously doing yoga, or maybe playing Never have I ever at 3 in the morning. I am so thankful that I had such a strong support system in AFS. Not only the other students, who understand me more than anyone ever will, but also the volunteers. They told me the truth, even when I didn’t want to hear it, but in the end they were there to hug me and wipe my tears. I can’t wait to see all of them again in February. Un besito para todos <3

On Sunday, October 21^st  , I switched host families. I’m being general because it’s personal, and simply not my place to share. AFS, my old host family, and I, all agreed that the switch was necessary and for the best of everyone. As my AFS friend Megg said, “Switching was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, and I don’t wish it on anyone, but if you have to do it, do it.” I’m not going to linger in the past and bring up all the mistakes I’ve made, or the mistakes that I think others have made, instead, I’m going to take those as my tools for the future. Because of this experience, I know what I need to do now. Even though it was one of the hardest days of my life, I look back at it now, and am so thankful that I went through with it.

So on the night of Sunday October 21^st an AFS volunteer, Yolanda, picked me up and drove me to her small quaint town of Navia. I felt like an innocent baby. I had no idea where I was going, I was going to be living with someone I had only known for a few hours, and I had no idea what the future would hold for me. I just laid back, and admitted the fact I was completely powerless, and let the wind take me on it's course. I was emotionally and physically drained, yet Yolanda and I  talked the whole two hours nonstop. I woke up Monday morning feeling fresh. There were no more tears on my pillow, just beautiful Navia sunshine through my window. Since Yolanda is a teacher at the public school in Navia, I would be attending it for the week until they found me a new family. In classes, everyone was so kind to me. No one tried to pester me into telling them the details of why I’m here, they all just accepted the fact an American was going to attend their school for a week and they made it work. During classes I tried to pay attention, but I couldn’t stop thinking. My mind was always racing with questions. Where will I be in two weeks from now? Could I be in Madrid? What if my family doesn’t speak Spanish? Will I live in an apartment or a house? Will I live in a city or in the middle of nowhere? It was like I was back in my house in Delaware, waiting for that first host family information email. Every possibility was open. Even though these thoughts were racing through my head, I told myself that at this point, whoever takes me in, will be doing it out of the bottom of their heart and that’s all that matters. But I couldn’t help but wonder…

 So as each day went by in Navia, I felt like a new person. No, not a new person, just more like me. 

I began to explore the town on my runs, down to the beach, through the woods, and down old alleys. It was small, but beautiful. When the sunsets in the evenings, it casts beautiful purple, blue, orange colors across the sky before it sinks between the mountains. I took a picture yesterday on my run.

On Friday, October 26^th, I packed up my bags for the third time in two months, and Yolanda and I drove to my new host family’s house, in Navia! Turns out that a girl in my class had told her mom about my situation and they lovingly decided to take me in! I was beyond excited to be able to stay in this beautiful town.

So now, I’m writing this blog post from my green, comfy couch, in my study. I’m living in an apartment 2 minutes walking distance from the center of Navia, with a sister, and host parents. I feel so fortunate to be with them and I haven’t been this happy, smiled this much, or felt more loved in two months. I think I’ve already fallen in love with Navia.

I guess things do have a way of working out in the end.