As I sit here, on my little green couch in my study on my last full day in Navia, I can't imagine ending this life. My suitcases are packed, my spanish flag is filled with signatures, and my passport lays on my nightstand, but still my brain doesn't register what's going on. I seem to always have the same problem. It didn't hit me that I was leaving the US until the day I said goodbye to my friends and family. I couldn't imagine seeing my parents for the first time in 7 months until I had them in my arms. So this time, why would I expect it to be any different? I can't wrap my head around the fact that in less than 24 hours, I'll be in the car on my way to Oviedo, to say goodbye to my family here in Spain, stay with my host aunt for the night, and then catch the bus early the next morning to Madrid.
I'm so glad I picked Spain as my country to study abroad. I could've gone to south america to learn spanish, and I'm sure I would've had an amazing experience, but there's something about the spanish culture. I can't put it into words. The relax, the siestas, the friendliness of strangers, the tapas, the fiestas, the loving nature of the Spaniards. It's a culture unlike any other. Now that I've adopted to this culture, I'm not going to leave behind all the things I love. Maybe somedays, you'll find me eating my lunch at 3:00 just because I feel like it. Or maybe, I'll take a little siesta after a long morning. I don't have to completely separate these two cultures that have now become a part of my life. Instead, I'm going to live a mix of the both. I know it will be hard readjusting to the american culture, but I know I can do it. I did it all by myself to a complete foreign culture, and now, I'm going to be doing it with my friends and family right behind me.
These 10 months have been the hardest 10 months of my life. Without a doubt. But they have also been so fulfilling. There were times when I didn't think I could make it. When I would've jumped right on the next plane home. But then, there were times when I would close my eyes, and think, "I'm so lucky." And thankfully, those times were more common than the others. An important thing I learned, is that this is my life. hahaha I know it sounds corny, but really. There are moments that suck, moments that are unreal, and moments so beautiful I wish I could relive them over and over again. All in all, this life is what I make it. It's in my control.Yes, I am sad to leave this all behind, but I also think what it means that I'm returning home. It means a group of ten crazy best friends will finally be reunited. It means that a grandmother will soon be able to hug her only granddaughter again. It means that a mom and a dad who have lived "childless" for 10 months, will have both their kids under the same roof. It means I'll be able to learn how to drive, and eat all the food I've missed in these 10 months. It means that although it's hard, it's worth it.
There are no words I can say, or write, or even think of, to express how grateful I am to everyone who has helped me along the way. Friends, family, spanish, american, whoever you are, know that I wouldn't have made it without you. Special thanks to my two families. My spanish family, Bea, Suso, Javier and Lucia for being so loving and welcoming to me these 8 months. And to my american family, for being so supportive and strong for me when I most needed it. I hope one day, we can get all 8 of us under the same roof.
So for the last time from my little green couch in Spain,
Besos,
Martha
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