First Day of School

First thing I learned today: follow the advice of people who went before you. Against everyone's advice, I decided to wear a dress. I love dresses and I wear them all the time at home so I thought it'd be normal! When I got to school, I was the only girl not wearing skinny jeans and converse. I could not have stuck out more in my pink dress. Everyone looked my way when I walked by, knowing I was new. The good thing about today is I didn't have to talk much. Just like back home, the first day, the  teachers talked about their class, expectations, blah blah blah. At least I could understand it back home. Here, no matter how hard I tried to pay attention, I would space out after 5 or 10 minutes. By last period "Lengua" (Language) class, my brain was fried.

me on the first day!

I expected people to be more welcoming. The teachers never really addressed me, but it was clear they all knew I wasn't from Spain. Only the biology teacher tried to have a conversation with me, which only lasted a minute or two because there was nothing we could talk about. As for the students, they were as chaotic, troublemaking, and talkative as any highschooler. The hard thing is, I know that if I were back home, I'd be the one socializing with my friends in the hallways, running up to people I hadn't seen all summer to give them hugs. Today though, I was that awkward new kid. I went to the class I was suppose to and I sat where I was suppose to, without talking to anyone. I've never been a new kid before, so it was odd. I did think though, that the students would be more welcoming. At least at my school back home, whenever there's a foreign exchange student, everyone wants to get to know them. No one would ever be mean to a foreign exchange student. But this school is not my school. At their equivalent of recess, I was once again awkwardly standing with a group of my host sister's friends and a group of guys kept looking at me. They would say something, obviously I don't know what, and then point, or laugh, or jump around from excitement. I just hated it because there was nothing I could do, definitely nothing I could say, so I just stood there and let them make fun of me.

Sometimes during the day, it took every once of strength I had not to cry. Being in a strange school, with a bunch of kids I have never met, all speaking a language I know just a little about... It was a lot. Everything at once is hard. Having a hard time at home, and then going to school and also having a hard time.. it's just not fun. It's only the first day so I hope that it will get better. Everyone keeps saying it will but they don't have to live through the hard times.

I really wish I had someone to go to. Not someone online, someone who's actually in the room with me. Someone who can comfort me and give me advice and make me laugh when I'm about to cry. I miss having that.

So the first day of school was hard, and i'm sure there will be many more hard days, but I'm still hopeful. I'm not giving up.

The first week

They always say the beginning is the hardest part. I knew from the very beginning that it would be
"hard" but I didn't know just  how hard it actually would be. The first day was the worst. I realized just how little spanish i knew when I met my family for the first time. I literally felt like i ran into something. I was tired all of the sudden, and i couldn't even say basic sentences. I almost fell asleep on the 10 minute drive from the train station to the house! It was awkward at first. Everything was awkward. Showing me around the house that was going to be mine for the next nine months and all i could say was, "Oh! Me gusta!" or, "Si.. está bien!" I didn't know their routine. I didn't know how their family worked. And there was no way that they could tell me because i wouldn't know if they were talking about politics or what's for dinner.

Just like any week, anywhere in the world, there are good moments and bad moments. I can look back on this week and say, "Yea, it sucked that first night, not knowing the people that i was with and not being able to say anything. And yea, I get frustrated with myself sometimes when i just can't say something i want to say" but i can also say that i had some really good moments. Those random moments when i can't pronounce the double l (it's like the "y" in yes but more direct) and my family will laugh at my attempts or when i got a strike while bowling the second day.

When I have a bad day, I just remember those good moments and know that there are so many more to come and it helps. I just want school to start because I haven't met very many people and I want to make some friends of my own. Once the language becomes easier, everything will become easier. So for now.. I'm ok with making mistakes and I'm ok if people laugh at me because I know that when I leave, I will be almost, if not totally, fluent in spanish, and that is awesome!

Here are some pictures of my week:

Mi Familia

Posada de Llanera (Town within walking distance)

Our first skype session! Miss them all so much

The flight over!

Asturias from the bus

The last few days

These last few days in the US have been emotional, stressful, and a lot of fun. I've said goodbye to so many people, my bags are stuffed full and all zipped up. I am currently living off of old tshirts and soffee shorts. I'm constantly going around my room and saying "oh hey.. maybe i should bring this?".  I swear i've weighed my suitcase 2345896 times to make sure it fits the precise 44lbs requirement.

The weirdest thing is that even though I leave everything i've ever known in 2 days, it still hasn't hit me. At different times it has hit each of my friends but it all seems so surreal to me. I think it's just because i'm too busy making sure everything is packed and where it should be and i don't leave my room a complete mess for a whole year. Even though it would probably be like that if i was here anyway.

It's insane to think that at this time in one year I will be fluent in a whole other language and i will have a million memories and a bunch of new friends and even a family in Spain. I honestly can't even imagine it because everything in my life so far can't even compare to that. There's nothing that can prepare me for this so i'm just embracing the fact that I will be totally lost for the first few weeks. Let's hope their charades are good because speaking spanish will definitely be a problem in the beginning. I just hope people are understanding of my difficulties.

Next time I blog I'll be in Spain!! Craziness....

August

Woah… it’s already August. How is this possible?? In a month, my friends will be preparing for the first day of school and I’ll be finalizing my packing for spain. This is so surreal. Once a simple dream and fantasy is turning into reality within a matter of months. The other night while I was with my friends, we began to talk about spain and one by one we all began to tear up. I know they are happy for me and I’m extremely excited, but it’s so hard to leave a perfectly normal life. If I stayed here next year, I would have YOLO nights with my girls, I would stress out before school presentations, I would spend hours online searching for the perfect dress for the next dance, I would  suffer through hell like sports practices with my team, and I would cram for finals. But I don’t know what I’ll do in spain. Part of that scares me, but also it excites me. I’ll have experiences in 9 months, that most of my classmates will never have in their entire lives. I am so thankful that my parents have let me and my brother go abroad. I will miss my life in the united states tremendously, but the unknown of spain thrills me.

Llanera, Spain- Once a horror, now a dream.

When you first type in the town Llanera, Spain, google maps takes you to a one road town with small, slightly abandoned looking homes scattered about the green countryside. It reminded me of the irish towns i drove through with my family acouple years ago. Llanera is 40 minutes away from the nearest town, and seems almost cut off from the rest of Spain. My immediate reaction was, "Why would they place me there? All the other students are living in BEAUTIFUL towns and i get placed in the middle of nowhere?" I had a breakdown. I wasn't even sure this family had a working shower or internet.

My dad saved the day as he typed in the area code, 33690, along with llanera and the province asturias and found quite a different picture. 30 minutes south east of the original deserted town was a small town of 100 people just 10 minutes outside the big city Oviedo. I'm not sure my exact address yet so i looked into the town of Oviedo. It is absolutely gorgeous. It is the Spanish town that I originally dreamed of (although not on the water). Here are some of the pictures I found through google:

"The countdown"

So I'm entering my last week of school and everything just feels so normal. I don't think it has totally hit me yet how much of a change this whole experience will be. Everyone always asks me how I feel and the only words I can manage are, "Excited!" because there are really no words to describe what I'm about to do. I'm mixed with so many emotions everyday. I'm happy that I have the opportunity of a lifetime and I'm so excited to learn a whole new culture. At the same time I'm sad because while I'm gone, my friends will change, and when I come back I know nothing will be the same. I'm also nervous because I'm not very good at spanish so the first few months will be so hard for me. I know that everyone says if you stick through those rough times, good times will come and that's what I have to think about for now. I see all the other exchange students writing things like, "100 more days!" but I don't see how they could be so quick to leave their whole world behind. I wish I could feel the way they do but there's something holding me back, regretting that all my friends can't experience this with me. Don't get me wrong, I'm still super excited for this trip but I just have to keep it real here.

Pre Departure Orientation

Last weekend I went to a pre departure orientation up in Dublin, Pennsylvania. I had no clue what to expect. When I walked in the community center with my parents, I realized there was not a very big crowd. Turns out only 6 other students were there. This surprised me because the orientation was mandatory and I assumed there were more people in my area going abroad. That just made me realize how almost secretive this "going abroad," thing was. Most kids at my school didn't even know it was available for sophomores. I feel like if more people knew of the possibilities there would be a greater push to study abroad.

Anyway... in short, the orientation was boring. Some of the stories the volunteers shared about experiences were amusing but the most part was things I have heard before. It definitely wasn't worth the four hours (plus two hours of driving) that I spent on it on a saturday afternoon. That being said, I did learn a lot about culture shocks and ways to be prepared. It was also nice to meet some other students going abroad and hear their fears/concerns to know I'm not alone.